Issue: Issue 2.07
Posted Date: 3/27/2001
Ellis Walentine is the host of WoodCentral and he bravely confessed something to the group last week. He wrote, "today's our wedding anniversary and I bought my dear wife a new extension ladder. Was that tacky?"
By coincidence, Dave Barry just wrote a piece on how to buy gifts for your wife. Unfortunately, it was too late for Ellis. Barry writes: "I once worked with a guy named George who, for Christmas, gave his wife, for her big gift-and I am not making this gift up-a chain saw. (As he later explained: 'We NEEDED a chain saw.') Fortunately, the saw was not operational when his wife unwrapped it.
The WoodCentral folks tried to be nice to Ellis, but one summed up the general consensus: "You can use it to get into the attic of your shop where you will be spending the next few nights." Another woodworker looked at the message and wrote, "it was almost 9:00 p.m. when you posted. That answers the question. Does ROMANTIC DINNER mean anything to you? Give the ladder a nice hug tonight dude."
There were some who tried to offer comfort, suggesting he use the ladder to climb to her window, ala Romeo and Juliet, with a rose and a kiss. Others' suggested eloping and other schemes, but they all sounded like damage control. One story sounded particularly prescient.
"I remember one year for mother's day I bought the wife a bunch of potted plants and flowers that I fully intended on planting for her, and, in fact, did plant. Along with the flowers and plants, I bought a shovel, rake, hoe, etc. to use for planting. That was about 15 years ago, and to this day I am still reminded of the year that I got her a shovel. No mention of flowers or plants though. Get ready, Ellis. You will hear about this till the cows come home."