Robbie Rich's Retirement

"Hey, what do you think we are, a bunch of rich dudes with more money than brains? What kind of dumb-bunny would send Rob Johnstone ten bucks (20 with shipping and handling!) so he can retire before us? It would take about 15,000 suckers to send in that amount of dough. Does that arrogant yahoo really think we are going to do that?" - Lou Pole, Desires End, Wisconsin

Editor's Note: Good question, Lou. When we tried to get a hold of Rob to ask him, he was unavailable and his mail was being forwarded to Costa Rica …

Oddly Missing

"I found the Industry Interview to be confusing and actually just odd. Am I missing something? You didn't run the interview because Gen-Go-Life is a big advertiser, did you?" - Norma Leigh Lucid, Oblivion, South Dakota

Editor's Note. Yes. No.

Fine as Frog's Hair?

"Thanks for the info on the FINE Groomin' Group! I've needed the extra-powerful nose hair removal for a long time – plus, besides removing my Bunyans, it got rid of that blue ox that's been stinking up the place for years, too! Sweet!" - Sa. S. Kwatch, Ketchmeifyoukin, Montana

Trickster

"I tried the Compact Project Storage from Tricks of the Trade, but I added my own twist. Since one of my favorite things to make is tables, I canned some of my favorite meals I've served on them to go in the same Ball Jar as the table where it was served. I have a question, though: I scraped some absolutely divine meatballs and spaghetti leftovers in with my Maple Country Table, and now when I sit in my La-Z-Boy® and watch TV, I can see a big bulge in that jar on my mantle. Also, I keep hearing a lot of howling and seeing some glowing red eyes and gleaming white fangs outside my window. Should I be concerned?" - K. Lew Less, Wostin in Woods, Massachusetts

Editor's Note: As long as you have some silver bullets on hand, you should be fine.

I Am the Greatest?

"That Dill guy in WebSurfer's Review thinks he's so hot because he can drill press up to 10" in diameter? Huh? Well, I've got him beat – I'm pressing 14" inches and up. Who cares about the exercise benefits; this is about bragging rights: any time, any place; bring it on, buster!" - Tim Pound-Week Ling, Small-Still-Breezes-Upon-the-Sand-Next-to-the-Shore-by-the-St.-Lawrence-Seaway, Ontario

A "Very Special" Offer

"Saw your item about Twofer Tools and thought woodworkers might be interested in another great deal: two bridges for the price of one! Diversify on either side of the mainland – one of 'em's golden!" - Brooke Lynn, Bridges, New York

Classy Reunion?

"Kin u put me in touch wit Ima B. Leever? I tink she mite of bin my kinnergarden teach." - Les B. Hind, Pothole Junction, Idaho

Editor's Note: Ima might already have left for her South American cruise, but we'll pass along your 4-1 (one), as the kids say these days.