April Fool’s Day Issue

April Fool’s Day Issue

Our previous issue, in honor of April Fool’s Day, was a spoof. We sent out a completely fictitious offering in which we, the editorial staff, genially made fun of ourselves by creating a parody of our own style and content. Most of you loved it, and told us so, with some employing humor to do so. Others were not amused, and quite a few were genuinely fooled. One way or another, it netted us the largest group of responses we’ve ever had. Here’s a healthy sampling of them, starting with the words of praise. – Editor

“Wow! I can barely see to type from all the tears pooling in my eyes from laughing so hard! This is absolutely, beyond any doubt, the best thing that has come across my computer in a very long time. You guys must have spent many long hours in a room with an unsealed can of varnish or perhaps just a night of emptying brown bottles to reach that place where insight and insanity sort of blend together. And you’ve done a damn fine job!” – Jere Bigler

“That was great. Please give my very amused thanks to everyone who contributed to this issue, and by all means, please offer a raspberry from me to anyone who refused to participate.” – Jon Palmer

“You’ze guys are some pretty weird puppies.” – Dan Mathews

“Great eZine! Thanks for the chuckle” – D. C. Lance

“You got me. This was the best April Fool joke I’ve seen in a long time. Being a bit slow, I had to read this issue twice before I saw what was going on. Keep up the good work. Thanks.” – Charles Koerkenmeier

“Ptttttbbbbbt! (grin)” – Joe Kesselman

“Wish this issue was actually in print so I could share it with my non-computer friends. I don’t know how many of your staff were actually involved in it, but whoever they are, the are to be congratulated on their imagination and wit.” – Hal Gestwick

“Very funny, guys. The Harvey Porter Kolor-Wand letter was great.” – Bernard Campolo

“That was a hilarious issue!” – Jacky

“Excellent eZine this time! Coming in a few days late, it took me completely by surprise, but cheered up my morning. Thanks from a happier U.K.” – Robert Atkinson

“I bet you had fun spoofing all of us woodworking rubes. Thanks for the laughs.” – Stephen Garanin

“Let me know how many orders you get for your laser device or the zero kerf blade. Thanks for the chuckle.” – Robert Bosch

“Especially enjoyed the Peebody Award article. Thanks.” – Sheldon Grand

“I’m still chuckling at your sense of humor on the ‘Peebody’ award. Hey, we may wear flannel shirts, but we’re not ignorant. Anyone who uses the word ‘sycophant’ must have some smarts, even if he is from the Midwest. Thanks for the eZine. I always look forward to reading it.” – Henry Rohlfs

“Your Peebody piece was great! However, I seem to detect some ‘Down East’ in your gene pool.” – Paul Moody

“Spent about two minutes looking up ‘Euclid Saw Company’ and kerfless saw blades before I checked the date for the Ezine. While it is a bit cruel, I do think you guys did a funny! Thanks.” – Hal Hanevik

” Great article on the kerfless band saw blade. I can’t believe I fell for it.” – Bill Berklich

“Well, you have really offended me now! You keep doing that stuff and I will be a subscriber forever!” – Bob Oswin

Quite a few readers responded to our whimsy with tongue-in-cheek humor of their own. – Editor

“If people would keep up with tech stuff, nano technonists and time machines, they would understand how you have letters to the magazine about the same issue they are reading.” – Robert Finley

“I want to report a broken Internet link on your site. I clicked on the www.ripmeoff.com link several times and it doesn’t work. Do I need to add the http:\\ to the link? Thank you for your time on this matter. Looking forward to seeing the paint stirring stick plans.” – S.P. Linter, Dutch Elm Minnesota

“That’s a brilliant April 1 issue. We had a good laugh. Only one question though; does the Euclid Saw Co. have any plans to market a drill bit that does not leave those annoying holes? I feel it would be a great companion tool for the kerfless saw blade.” – Peter Eisenhut

“Kerfless band saw blades can be found at the Huntington Beach, California, Sharp Tools Store. Just as you go in the door to the right, they are on the third shelf, between the sky hooks and wood stretchers.” – Rich Flynn

“I managed to find two of those elusive kerfless saw blades. I wish I hadn’t. I lost the tip of one finger even before managing to get the damn thing out of its package, then lost two more trying to install the cursed thing on my band saw.” – Pat Fiorucci

“As a sharpener, I protest this product. I will have to learn how to sharpen invisible blades for which I will be paid invisible money which I will have to exchange for invisible food and clothing. Where will it all stop?” – Curt Johnson

A few felt we amateur comedians should stick to woodworking and leave the comedy to professionals, a view that puzzled us, since we always encourage professional comedians to become amateur woodworkers. – Editor

“Please! No more April Fool Issues! What a giant waste of time. Leave the comedy to Letterman.” – Allen Jenkins

“Either y’all have been sniffing the lacquer thinner again or ya just have too much spare time. Glad April Fool’s Day comes only once each year.” – Jay Hitchens

“Scientific American did it so I guess it is OK for you to do it. Just not too often.” – Jim Ory

“Other than the Peebody award, the rest of the page was just tripe and not worth the effort.” – Andy Cotterman

Much to our astonishment (and delight), we actually managed to fool some of our well-meaning readers, at least for a short time. (Or did we?) – Editor

“I am sure you checked out your sources for the award, but as soon as you said Nigeria, I got suspicious. I get emails all the time from Nigerians wanting to transfer millions of dollars from secret funds into my accounts or that of our church for a large percentage commission fee to us, and what they want is our credit card info and bank info. They are all frauds. ‘Peabody Awards’ are part of Georgia University. I contacted them to ask if anyone in Nigeria was contacting winners on their behalf; they said no. Their number is 706 542-3787. I hope everything works out. I do enjoy your e-journal and find it helpful to me.” – Arc da Silva

“Sorry, Rob, this really sounds like a credit card scam to me. Let us know how it works out. Good luck.” – Jeff Blavat

“I really like the story on the kerfless band saw blade, but how does one get in touch with this company?” – Bill Dalton

“How do I get the kerfless band saw blades from Euclid?” – Pierrino & Sandy Mascarino

“The kerfless band saw blade sounds great. Where can I get one? A quick search by Google showed no results.” – Tom Sharp

“OK, where can I purchase one of these Russian marvels?” – Robert Anderson

“I found your article about the ‘Kerfless Band Saw Blade’ intriguing and would like to know more about the availability. I couldn’t find anything on Google. Can you pass on some contact information?” – Bob Klueg

“Is the kerfless band saw blade real or a joke? If it is real, will the Journal be doing any reviews and comparisons on it?” – Rick Shields

I suppose we should be flattered that some fake articles were good enough to pass for real. In the ne’er bespoke words of Shakespeare: ’tis good parody that shares pillow and bed with authenticity.’ – Editor

Shaker Boxes

“I was fortunate enough to take a course in Shaker Box making from John Wilson several years ago when he came to Atlanta. I also took his class in plane making. I think he is an excellent instructor, dedicated to his craft. I wish that he would come on down and teach other classes as I enjoyed the ones that I have taken very much.” – Lowell Baltzell

“Being relatively new to woodworking I have no clue as to what a Shaker box is or what it is used for. Can you please enlighten me? PS: I look forward to every issue of eZine. Please keep up the great work.” – David E. Shalek

The Shaker box is the oval style of box shown in the pictures which accompany the article. Developed by the Shakers — a religious sect who also gave their name to their plain woodworking style — the boxes can be stacked to conserve storage space. They’re used to store whatever you would put in a box. The Shakers had more influence on us than merely their beautiful styles. In 1813, Sister Tabitha Babbitt from the Harvard Shaker community in Massachusetts invented the first American circular saw blade, and, along with Eli Whitney, is credited with inventing cut nails. – Editor

Abbreviation Clarification
“I had to do some research on the Internet to know what everyone was talking about when they mentioned filling nail holes with ‘CA.’ It appears that they are talking about cyanoacrylate. I hope that my assumption is correct.” – Aaron

It is. We usually try to write out all words the first time, but now and again, a common abbreviation slips through. Sorry about that. – Editor

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