Lures, Fools, Threads and Yankees

rob_fishIn the photo accompanying Rob’s editorial about making his own fishing lures, he is pictured holding up…what, exactly? – Editor

“In your picture with the fishing rod, is that the lure or the catch?” – Tim Boman

“It’s my winner catch in a ‘smallest fish’ contest,” Rob insisted when we asked him. “It is a perch, to be exact.” We should have guessed; it’s almost too small to be a lure. – Editor

Lure
April Fool’s Day Issue 

We must be getting predictable. Many of you were not only aware that we do an April Fool’s day issue, but were looking forward to it. – Editor

“I always wait impatiently for April Fool’s Day to come along, just for your April issue.” – Tom McGlinchey

“You outdid yourself with this April Fool’s issue of the eZine. It is hilarious. Nice going.” – Terry Nelson

“Thanks so much for another fun April 1st issue! I look forward to it every year. I especially liked the Ignus veritas curvitus tata, I am still laughing over that one!” – Sue Thomas

“You almost caught me the first year, when I started reading it and had one of those head-scratching moments. Now I look forward to it every year.” – Sue Russell

“You have outdone yourselves again this year! Thanks for never taking yourself too seriously.” – Mark Boxberger

“I always enjoy the eZine, but the latest issue is absolutely outstanding! Perhaps you’ve heard a related story that claims the great reformer Martin Luther once woke to find the devil at the end of his bed. Luther is fabled to have said, ‘Oh, it’s you!’ and promptly gone back to sleep. Being at my regular place of work, I must follow Martin Luther’s example.” – Al Stein

“Your best April Fool’s edition yet. Keep up the good work.” – Ted Heissner

“Once again, I thoroughly enjoyed your April Fool’s issue. Keep the good eZine coming, as well as the humor now and again. Just don’t quit your day job.” – Tony Daniel

Too late. This is our day job. – Editor

“Your April 1 edition of eZine was, as always, simply hilarious. I especially liked the ones about the dead mouse preventing rust, and the mortise and tenon vs. the dovetail joint. Those were a real laugh.” – Eva Bailey

“You’ve outdone yourselves! Love it!” – Bruce E. Edsten

“Thanks! I was afraid you would forget to say Hello on this most auspicious day. Happy April 1st.” – John E Sirovatka

“I always enjoy your April Fool’s edition of the eZine, but I think this is the best one yet! I can’t wait until the feedback is published for this issue so I can read about all the ticked-off people who were duped. Thanks for the pick-me-up!” – Brian Mowers

“Your April Fool’s issue was a hoot. I especially enjoyed the story about Shorty Stubbs and the contribution of Ella Quince as well as the wonderful answers to questions about problem bubbles and gas in one’s finish.” – Joyce Allen

One wag even took the time to describe our issue the form of an acrostic of “April Fool.” – Editor

“A Perfect, Relatively Interesting Legend For Obtuse Old Liars.” – Tory M. Lehr

Some commented on our plans. – Editor

“I tried the Chee-Ya kit, but used too much fertilizer and ended up with a beach cottage.” – Fred Buynitzky

“The only problem I encountered with the tripod table was in gluing on the Varathane® finish. I ended up using a Teflon® blanket clamp from the NASA tool catalog.” – James Johnson

“I loved the look of your tripod table. The plan was a little confusing till I figured out you had to add some of the numbers and subtract some of the others to get it right.” – James Battee

“Thanks for the flashback to the years of taking Mechanical Drawing in high school.” – Wayne Higden

“Great optical illusions.” – Rick Gauthier

“As for the three-legged table, I can’t figure out which dimensional universe it is in.” – George Gouraud

“As a junior draughtsman about 45 years ago, I was handed a sketch of this and asked to prepare a plan. Then it was called a ‘Trimakenit.’ Thanks again.” – Bert Reeves

“I loved this morning’s eZine. The Picture Frame in the free plans should be titled Celtic Picture Frame.” – Lucy McRae

“The Chee-Ya project kits look fantastic! They will save me so much time that I will be able to read all my back copies of Woodworker’s Journal.” – James Howell

“Excellent April 1st edition! As soon as my 4-D glasses come in the mail, I’ll start working on the free plans. Thanks for lightening up my work day.” – Robert Lammers

“This was a great April Fool’s Day joke edition. I was disappointed when I realized the Chee-ya projects were a joke. I could really use those.” – Scott Pollock

“Very good! I had a good laugh at your plans today. Nice to see not everyone is too serious these days.” – Jeff Marskell

“I really enjoyed this issue of the eZine, especially the free plans. I’m glad to be reminded to slow down and have a laugh every now and then.” – Ron Villarreal

Many of you were partial to the beetle story. – Editor

“Great article. Ms. Lewcyphyer, that was the best!” – Gabe Harris

“Perhaps the Surgeon General should insist on a health warning on all breakfast cereals that contain maple syrup.” – Chris J Rollinson

“I, too, have suffered the ravages of healthy eating and exercise and have vowed never again!” – Rick Davis

“Nice going, guys. I bought the beetle story until I read the rest. What a relief!” – Bob O’Brien

“You had me going for a couple of minutes on the Maple Syrup thing. I almost threw out my Honey Bunches of Oats.” – Allen James

We did manage to fool a few, at least for a little while. – Editor

“I hate to admit how far I got in your column before….” – Richard Batts

“Now I know what caused that smirk on your mug in that picture at the top of your column.” – Al Hinton

“I actually got to the end of the article before I remembered what day it was.” – Garth Taylor

“Ah, yes. You had me for awhile, but then it is April 1st, isn’t it?  Good job!” – Joe Scheffer

“It took me a minute and a whole article to remember what day this is.” – Helen Hart

“I must be getting old! It took me most of the way through your April 1 issue to realize that I am, indeed, being fooled. Good job and most fun of all.” – Dave Brazelton

“Each year, I forget that you folks put out an April 1st edition of your eZine. Each year, I have a good chuckle. Thanks, again.” – Lester Lee

What gave us away? – Editor

“You had me until I saw the ad for ‘Gorilla Glue.’ Now that’s funny. No one would name their product that!” – Todd Sachs

“It was only after my wife translated your scientific names that I realized this was an April Fool joke.” – Stephen Case-Pall

“I was believing it till I looked at the free plans, then looked back and realized the whole eZine was a April Fool’s joke. Got me.” – Steve Baldwin

“I am so gullible that you had me eating out of your hand until SPAZO, then I remembered that it is April Fool’s day. Good one.” – Paul Connolly

Then there were those we fooled completely. Rather than embarrass them, we’ll withhold their names from their letters, but we promise you, these are all real letters. – Editor

“The free plans over the years have gone from great to good to OK to the latest, which is crap: a one page drawing that when looked at in detail turns out to be impossible to make.”

“Your article on Shorty Stubbs is missing needed information. As a reader, would I like to know the specifics such as: ‘What does she do or make on her drill press that is so unique?’ A picture of a Forstner bit inserted into a toilet roll on a drill press tells the readers nothing. There were no pictures of her work!”

“I tried the ‘Warp Be Gone’ web address but to no avail. How can I contact the company that sells the stuff?”

“When I hit the warpbegone link in the ‘Warp Be Gone: The Straight Dope for Twisted Wood’ article in Issue 195.5 it just takes me to a search page and not to the actual product page. How and where can I get this product?

“What the heck is this article all about titled ‘Shorty Stubbs: Woodworking from the Bottom Up?’ Specifically, what is being suggested with the inclusion of the toilet paper rolls? I even went to the web site and found that she decorates toilet seats. Could someone please tell me what this article is trying to suggest? I don’t get it.”

“I’m a tad confused. I just received the most recent issue of the Woodworker’s Journal eZine 195.5. But, when I went to download the plans for a tripod table, I found only one page there and it was an illustration. No plans per se at all. No text, no instructions. And the illustration didn’t look terribly comprehensible. Am I missing something, or did you have a glitch somewhere when you sent those plans?”

Yep, you’re missing something. – Editor

Loose Threads

“Maybe I missed something, but the eZine continually mentions the ‘online threads.’ Where are these located? Some of the exchanges quoted seem very interesting and I would like to read more.” – Lewis Kauffman

At the beginning of each Web Surfer’s Review segment there is a title, followed by a colon and the name of the message board from which it was borrowed. For instance, the threads in Issue 195 were from WoodCentral and Sawmill Creek respectively. Each was listed in the title line as a hyperlink. Click on the hyperlink, and it will take you directly to that thread on that web site. – Editor

Yankee Ingenuity

We asked our readers to validate the earliest date they could find for the use of the term “Yankee” for a ratcheting screwdriver or push drill. – Editor

“I bought a ‘Yankee’ screwdriver in 1942. I just checked it and stamped on it is:
‘YANKEE’ NO. 31-A
NORTH BROS. MFG. CO.
PHILA. PA. U.S.A.
PAT. DEC 11, 23
MADE IN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
I also have a push drill, a ‘Yankee #41,’ which also has the North Bros. imprint on it with patent dates of  Jan, 25.98-Oct.29.01” – Al Horowitz

Typo Corner

Here’s where we celebrate the humor of twisted typing. – Editor

“After taking the bushings off the commentator, I found that one of the carbon brushes had a large chunk missing.”

We think he meant commutator, the device brushes rub against in a motor. It’s hard to imagine Dan Rather with bushings. – Editor

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