In last eZine’s editorial, Rob, who is tying the knot in September, asked for marital advice from the eZine’s readers. He did ask for it, and he received a lot of advice. So much so that the eZine Feedback section for the month of June looks a lot like a premarital counseling session – with, of course, a unique spin. Where else are you going to get so much feedback about whether it’s a good idea, after the wedding, to continue practices such as cleaning the house with a leaf blower? – Editor
“Congrats to you and your bride-to-be. Sounds like you are on the right path to marital bliss. All you need to do is teach her how to use the leaf blower and you’re good!” – Bill Koski
“If you were married for 30 years, you certainly must be aware of the ‘rules’ regarding proper care and maintenance of wives as well as tools. So I’ll not try to offer advice there. However, I do know that use of the leaf blower inside the house is definitely OUT! Most women suffer from a complete lack of a sense of humor in regard to some things. The main problem is figuring out exactly what things they are ‘blind’ to.” – Jim Clark
“As one having been there (33 years married, widowed and remarried for 12 years last month), it is all about two words: ‘Yes Dear.’ I read your note about the leaf blower to my wife, and she said: ‘I bet the room wasn’t his shop!’ But most importantly NEVER forget to tell each other ‘I Love You.’ Enjoy life together.” – Mike Dutton
“I’ve found that there are a couple of basics that will get you through any situation.
“1. When the funny little hunny is talking to you, keep eye contact and act like you hear everything she is saying, even if you are thinking about the latest project you’re working on. Don’t fumble and bumble around trying to make a proper response to what she is saying. Most times there is not a proper response. She just needs to use up some of the words that are piling up in her thoughts.
“2. This one is important. If the little lady is worked up about something, say cleaning the house with a leaf blower, listen to her and nod and Smile. It helps to add a “Yes Dear“ in every now and then. Don’t argue with her. You will not win and it turns out to be a bad situation. This will get you a long ways.
“3. This get you brownie points. Every now and then when you are talking with your lady, bring up some obscure little fact that she has told you before. It helps if the fact is about her, her family, or just something that happened to her in the past. This makes her feel like you listen to her and understand her, even when you are really thinking about a new fishing lure design.
“This one is just for good measure. Take her out to dinner, a movie, buy her a little gift, or something like that just for no reason. Just do something every now and then, for her, to surprise her. This lets her know that you are thinking about her even when you have spent days in the woodshop (working on a project for her) without much interaction with her.
“These are some of the basics. If you get these right, that is a big step in keeping her happy and a spot to sleep in the bed. The couch is a cold place in the middle of winter, and the doghouse is even worse.” – Kelly R McGee
“Brother, if you were married for 30 years, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about. That tells me you pretty much have the female species figured out.
One thing you mentioned in your request that got my attention, was the leaf blower. If your future mate does not see the humor in that, run now! A good mate will allow you to do what you want to do, get enjoyment from your actions, then either direct you on how to do it correctly or kick you out so they can do it right.
Never thought about this but I believe these are our unspoken rules:
1. Never raise your voice.
2. Never put your mate below you.
3. Never put your mate down with friends or family.
4. Always support them.
5. You must remember to tell them DAILY how beautiful they are
6. If they tell you a bath is being drawn, that’s a hint they want you to join and not a status update.
7. It does not matter how busy you are, stop what you are doing and listen. Most of the time it’s not important or life changing, but listening is very important to a woman. When you listen, look her in the eye. When her download is done, give her a hug and assure her everything will be OK and thank her for taking the time to share that with you. (In reality you really didn’t hear anything because you will be recalling a Scooby-Doo episode you saw as a kid.) She won’t know so that is a win for everyone.” – Max Kemp
“If you must use a leaf blower to clean house, tape down the knickknacks first, and do it when she’s not around. Never hide behind the paper at mealtimes.
Always ask her how her day went, and at least pretend to listen. Flowers on her birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s Day. Now the big one, when you have a fight (and you will) and you ask her what’s wrong, and she says ‘nothing’ or ‘I’m fine,’ and your gut tightens up, she’s mad. This last one is the hardest to master, but if you pay attention to her now and again you will get it.” – Michael Vergason
“As far as the practical side of life (putting the toilet seat down, etc.) seems like you’re on top of everything, except that leaf blower thing. A new wife will require adjustments, and you should be ready to make them. Give more than you receive and remember the old adage about women: If Momma’s happy, everyone is happy. Best of luck to you.” – Gil Hebert
“Never, ever leave tools in the kitchen or, in fact, in any other room in the house except the workshop. And, never answer any questions about weight, clothes or the new hairstyle without your lawyer being present. Good luck! I have been married for 43 years so I know what I am talking about.” – Roger Perrault
Stay tuned for even more premarital advice … – Editor