Important Confession

Rob PortraitIn considering recent events, and in the interest of allowing overworked former Senators to have a clear calendar during the holiday season, I have a confession to make. I have used and continue to use a performance enhancing substance while producing this eZine. (And yes, wise guys, I understand that the terms performance and enhanced are applied in their broadest possible usages in my case.)

What is my infraction? I drink coffee, often in a formulation strong enough to actually bend any spoon foolishly used to stir said substance, and I use it often. I not only consume caffeine in vast quantities, but I have been actively involved in promoting and offering this product to my fellow team members (the first cup is free) by telling them how much it has helped me compose sentences more quickly and adding an unambiguous “pop” to my prose.

I also sing praises of the euphoria that a good cup of Joe will provide in the morning (late morning, midday, afternoon, late afternoon, early evening — supper time, after dinner and even a quick nightcap!). And while others have decried this mocha-monkey on my back – I have no apologies. As of now, I have no intention of changing my game plan, and if I get my way, they will have to pry a cooling mug of mud from my coffee-stained fingers when I pass on.

Now that this confession is off my chest, I have to run to the bathroom.

Rob Johnstone, Woodworker’s Journal

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