Postcards from the Future

Rob-Portrait351Last eZine I talked about turning 50 and asked the faithful what was in store for me as I (hopefully) continued to check off birthdays into the future. I got over 200 responses, and I have to say that I became aware of a perverse pleasure in some of them as they described my future decline.

“Every 5 minutes or so you have to take a quick break or you will see double. Sawing between the lines is not an option.”

“Short- term memory loss — where the ?#@&* did I put that chisel?.”

“I am 55 and can tell you that one of the benefits of getting into this age bracket is that you will be able to work late into the evening on your favorite pastime ‘woodworking’ because your previous favorite late night enjoyment won’t be on your mind very much.”

And, along those lines: “Consider a wall-mounted urinal for your shop.”

Other folk were both kind and touching, and some reported strange scientific observations:

“I don’t know what it is, but gravity became stronger in my workshop garage after 50.”

“I have titanium in my back now — which causes great concern at airports.”

“Well, I’m blind in one eye, deaf in both ears, arthritis in my left hip, bursitis in my right shoulder, but other than that – well, I’m just fine …”

“Your 50th birthday would have been our 34th wedding anniversary, but I lost Mary to cancer three months ago tomorrow.”

Some responses that I found most comforting were quick to point out the advantages of growing older:

“As I have just turned 55 (now I can get that Senior Omelets at Denny’s) …”

“A great hug from Rachel Knopp – Israel”

“You may be approaching 50, but you have the writing skills of at least a 55- year-old.”

Thanks for all your help and encouragement. While I was worried about becoming 50, now I am frankly terrified of growing even older. Ah well, as many of you were quick to point out, it sure beats the alternative.


– Rob Johnstone, Woodworker’s Journal

Posted in: